Module 4 Death, Dying and Spirituality

For me my loss that stands out was not a loss of a loved one, but a loss of the better paying job. When I worked School Security it was the first time where I had a job that I could provide for my son and his special medical needs in a way that I wanted to. I was able to help my parents with the house mortgage, over all I felt things were good. I felt positive about myself, until I lost my job. This was the first time I had ever been really fired from a job.  Even though in the Hutchison book it states according to Silverman, "loss doesn't happen to us, rather it is 'something we must make sense out of, give meaning to and respond to'" for me this overwhelming lost left me stranded and yearning for answers to help my son (Hutchison, p. 423).

Looking back on it now I see where I was justified to have this overwhelming loss and feelings that I did.  I was in a state of shock and I was a parent that had an extremely ill son.  Like in the videos I did not experience one loss I experienced several losses, the loss of a job, of security, health insurance and money to provide for my family.  All these losses on top of each other compounded the issues and loss that I was experiencing overall.

Now I realize that it was right to grieve and morn this loss that I had experienced.  I was justified to take the time to grieve this huge loss and work through the process of it.  Looking back I do wish that my parents had been more supportive and helpful through the process of my grief process.  While they did say we are here for you the overwhelming guilt that I was experiencing over the loss of income made me feel like they were just belittling me.  This grief and guilt was compacted when the foreclosure papers come on our house, still to this day we live under the threat of foreclosure.  I totally felt like a failure I had never been fired from a job and felt like I had let everyone down around me, especially my son.

In the end this loss worked out for the best, if I had still had my job I wouldn't have gotten unemployment which assisted me while my son was inpatient in the hospital 5 hours away from our home. So in the end yes my theory worked out that everything does happen for a reason but it took a hell of a long time to learn that reasoning.          

Reference:

Hutchison, E. D. (2012). Dimensions of human behavior, the changing life course. (4 ed.). Sage Publications, Inc.