Module 2 Adolescents

For me I don’t look back on my adolescent years fondly we had recently moved to the Syracuse area when my father lost his job. This move brought us away from an area where my family was very involved in scouting and were well known in the community, even though it was a bigger community it had a small town feel to it. This was had to have been the biggest life changing even in my life, this one event lead me on a totally different path in my life. I went from having numerous friends that accepted me for who I was to have no friends and being bullied on a daily basis.

During this move my parents were the most worried about my sister who was changing school also but was a junior, my parents assumed since I was going to be changing schools in my old home town that I would be fine. In reality my sister fit into the new school with ease, even liking the new school better than the old. Where in stark contrast I did not fit in well, I was picked on because I did not wear girly clothes, I did not wear make-up and I was smart. At one point in school the other kids would take a drink out of the water fountain and then spit it on my back, this humiliating experience even got me to the point of being suicidal. I was called names and there was not a good day of school ever, I begged my parents to send me to Catholic school knowing I would have to wear a dress something I just did not do. But because of lack of income they could not send me. This brought on a new stress as the Wadsworth, et. al. (2008), article stated I began to worry about my parents not being able to pay their bills, I was aware that the house that we used to own was not selling and this was causing extra financial stress upon my parents. The greatest social pressure I felt during this time; was having to walk into that building and being happy about it, I ate lunch alone, I went to classes alone and generally just felt alone while I was being bullied to no end. The one thing that put an end to this all was I broke my finger very badly in gym class resulting in me have five surgeries but this meant I had to stay home until I recovered, I was so happy to hear that I did not go to school the extreme pain of my broken finger was a lower priority on the list. It has been only recently that my family knew that I was that suicidal during this time period, with the recent new stories of other teens completing suicide due to bullying my mom asked me if I felt suicidal during that time and I looked at her with tears in my eyes saying yes tried to do it at least once a week.

I responded to this extreme negative social pressure by doing everything in my power to stay home from school. My parents eventually allowed me to stay home every tenth day. I honestly did not care about perfect attendance or how poor my grade would be if I continued to miss school. Additionally I began to play the piano as a release of my frustration; this escape provided a much needed outlet of my frustrations in life.

The guidance counselor of my school tried to do everything in her power; she had me meet up with other students so I would have someone to eat with at lunch. While this was nice it backfired on her and my parents because then I was known as the looser that had to get a staff member to help me make friends. She reprimanded the students that did the most bullying on me, but this also backfired and their parents called me at home yelling at me stating I was causing trouble and their son was innocent. Later on I continued to see their wonderful son spit water on other students as well. I think during this time the most helpful thing would have been if my parents had even tried to contact the local Catholic school to see if they could have gotten a scholarship. Another resource that would have been more helpful is if my parents and my sister had not belittled me asking me to be more like my sister and make friends. Looking back on it I know what I would have done if this situation happened to my child, I would have had my child homeschooled until the year was done. In the end this is what my parents did. After I went back to school after my finger surgery, I started having horrible migraines the doctors tried to say it was psychological but in the end 6 months later my seizure disorder was discovered. I stayed home the last two months of school and only went in for final exams. I was able to pass them without issues since my new school district was a two years behind in their educational teaching than my old school was.

In conclusion I would like to start a program within the school systems about overall acceptance of everyone through their differences. I feel that I will be able to emphasize with other teens that are going through this because I know the horror that I went through.

References:

Wadsworth, M., Wolff, B., Santiago, C., & Moran, E. (2008). Adolescent coping with poverty-related stress [electronic version]. The Prevention Researcher, 15 (4), 13-16.

Ingrid

Introduction- Ingrid Spies

Currently I work as a resident specialist with 48 schizophrenic in an independent group home setting. This job is very demanding, yet has the moments of being entertaining and educational. I’ve had to learn to adapt to various personalities when they are doing well and when they are having a schizophrenic break. This has taught me to adapt to different personalities and situations, specifically when a crisis situations happens and the routine has to be broken causing others to get upset that dinner is late or the medications is not given on time. After I graduate I would like to take a different job working in an at risk school program. I have 10 years of experience working with at risk youth and would like to put my new education and my old job together. I think a merger of the two positions would be ideal. I am nervous about starting a new job potentially but feel that in change will be better overall for me and my family. If I cannot work as a school social worker I would like to work in a setting of a children’s hospital, my son and I have lived in the hospital setting for 14 weeks, and let’s be honest hospital living is stressful and basically sucks. I would ideally like to help a family in the hospital better than the social workers helped me. In this area I fear that my hostile attitude towards doctors would constantly have to be in check, I’ve had some extremely poor experiences with certain professional doctors and well I am very tainted towards most doctors. I know that my life experiences with certain medical professionals I will constantly have to be aware of my professionalism and making sure it is sure that it is professional at all times.

Since beginning my program at Fordham I have seen my parent’s health fail, leaving me in the sandwich generation taking care of my parents and my son. The biggest stress of taking care of my parents is that my father continues to want to work even though he needs to retire and my mother has turned to drinking her stress away. I have learned from this though that retiring men and 60+ female adults turning to alcohol is common. Additionally I have seen my son’s health limbo back and forth. My son has severe food allergies, a learning disability, is developmentally delayed, has a social disorder, a sensory disorder, and a cognitive disorder. This has also taught me to go with the flow of things, having a disabled child makes you see things very differently. Learning this balancing act of ensure my parent’s, my son’s, and my work is finished has been an extremely tough lesson, one that I still strive to achieve each day. If I fail one day I go to bed and look forward to a fresh beginning the next day. For me my mirco and mezzo level is extremely enmeshed with a majority of my priority focusing on the mezzo level and little is focused on the micro level.

My priorities shift has not been great since beginning my graduate career. When I started at Capella University before Fordham I did it to pass the time while I was unemployed. When I started at Fordham I did it to be able to achieve my goal of graduating from Graduate school. While I liked Capella University I was tired of fighting the battle of out of state licensing issues that the college was having with New York State. I started school to prove to my son that quitting is not an option, this year he has wanted to quit school for most of the year, so I often joke that I have a Kindergarten want to be drop out. Showing him that I have not quit school has shown him that a person does not quit when they are in our family. There have been plenty of times that I have wanted to quit but I do not because of frustration over certain situations but continue to prove to my son and myself that I can do this and I refuse to quit. My MAIN priority is to provide a better life for my son and my parents.

This past semester I did not feel well medically, and I ended the semester having my appendix out. This medical emergency was out of my personal control something that I am able to handle when others are having an emergency but when things do not go as planned for me personally I have trouble adjusting to these quick changes. I continue to tell myself that everything happens for a reason and that there is always a master plan that sometimes I just don’t know about. My main goal for the last course was to simply pass, I did not care about the grade and I did not want to have my cohort move forward without me. This was my only primary goal to be able to move forward, while I did not really like my grades that I received I am happy to have been able to move forward. Additionally at Capella I had a 4.0 grade point average and it has been a personal blow for me to not be perfect at Fordham University. Now I wonder is did the professors at Capella even read my work? Coping with personal stress I am not ashamed to say that I go to a counselor weekly. Since he is a Social Worker when I am struggling with the difference between Social Worker and Mental Health Counseling I am able to ask for his assistance dealing with school stress and all the other stress on my plate. While often I feel that my plate is overflowing I just know that this helps me have a safe place to vent. After words I go out to lunch and take an hour to myself, something that is rare for me. My last biggest change is that I have quit drinking; I felt that I was turning to alcohol too much so quit, being from an Irish family not drinking is really not part of our subculture.

For me my parents a great supportive resource; however my best resource is my son. To see all that he has gone through and overcome encourages me each and every day. If he can make up for three years of developmental delay in one year than I can lose some sleep and work my butt off to complete this degree. Additionally I have a close friend that is also in graduate school and knows about the stress of raising a child and going to graduate school. The last resource that I have is my fellow Fordham Cohort students, when each of us does not understand something we are there for each other, through email of the Facebook group.

In the end the important part for me is not failing and being able to complete this degree. By doing this I will be providing a better future for my son and that is all that matters to me.